500 Days of Summer

Ok, I guess when I added this it was because it was on netflix's top 100. I had seen "The Proposal" which was in the genre of romantic comedy. I guess after I enjoyed that movie I'd give this one a try. Oh...my....was I wrong to think it was possible to like.

First of all, I nearly fell asleep the first time watching it. The second night I DID fall asleep. I finished it, but it wasn't worth my time. I hated almost every second of it. The only part I did enjoy was the opening line about the author's note. Made me giggle.

Romantic comedies are off my list of genres, forever. Thanks 500 Days of Summer for making me not watch another!

Breaking Point/10 Dead Men Walking

I'm doing a duo-review for these two since they are not really worth reviewing. Both are low budget films and not really worth watching. I'd go into details but just trust me on this. The first (Breaking Point) was about as racist as imaginable. White men are lawyers, black people are coke dealers/pimps and all drive large cars with flashy rims and say "nigga" every other word. Second movie, 10 Dead Men Walking, was a low budget BRITISH FILM. Need I say more? I hate the British, so of course I hate their low budget scum of movies.

Next movie is 500 days of summer. So I'll actually review that one.

Brothers At War

Sorry that I did not post last night, but I had a physics test and a long walk back home! Not to mention I stepped in a 4 inch puddle that cost me comfort in my right shoe...

So this documentary is about one of 5 brothers going over to Iraq to see what 2 of the other brothers do over there. Normally documentaries are horrible liberal and extremely biased but I feel as though this one was a lot more impartial. The first portion was when the producer was with his brother in the intelligence division of the military. Had the entire movie been like the first half it would have been biased. It showed an idealized Iraq where our soldiers were very rarely in harms way (they did 5 day missions near the Syrian border, which involved sitting around waiting for people to cross the border).

It doesn't mean that there was nothing in the first half worth mentioning here. The one soldier talked about why he was in the military and it was very moving. The movie later transitioned into a different division in the army, one that did the door to door raiding and that sort of thing in one of the most dangerous parts of Iraq.

Here is where it got a lot dirtier. The guy shooting the film joined a group of Pennsylvania National Guard snipers after a soldier had been shot by an enemy sniper the day before. My favorite part about this movie was when they followed an Iraqi unit into combat. For the first time I saw what the Iraqi army was actually doing. I had thought they were like 2-3 people in a unit of American soldiers. But this was all Iraqis led by one American. One Iraqi said his brother and father had been killed because he was helping the Americans, and said that if they killed his other brother and mother it would still be worth it to see a free Iraq. 'nuff said. 4/5

The Three Kings

We Three Kings are stealing 2 hours of your time. I'm sorry but when you try to mix comedy, action, and serious issues in one movie then on top of that have George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg you're gonna make me hate it.

This really was not worth the time to watch this movie. The comedy was sub par, the action was decent but when you combine action and comedy the action seems pointless. This movie then goes and tries to throw in some seriousness with a bit of commentary on Desert Storm.

What a coincidence that they chose the token army make up. One black guy, one redneck high school drop out, the family man and the white officer. Really? Couldn't mix it up a bit, or is Ice Cube not officer material?? I mean he does have the jesus fire, that should be worth at least Sergeant, right?

I didn't mind the plot, for it was logical and everything about it was within the realm of reason. It's not the worst movie I've seen, but I wasn't really entertained by it. 2/5 with a side helping of le sigh.

The Hurt Locker

Iraq movies. Where to begin? Going into this movie I was skeptical based on my previous experience. If you haven't read my 25 worst list, you'll know why I was skeptical. Storyline was standard, character development non-existent, action was as expected, acting was great.

The best part of this movie was the camera effects. WHY DOES THIS BLOG/MY LAPTOP KEEP INSERTING AN EXTRA PERIOD! Arg, nobody likes an extra period. Oh looky there, a pun. Back to the topic on hand. The camera effects were outstanding. Quite frankly, without this the movie gets only decent rating (probably 3/5). Oh a triple that time. Without the camera effects I don't think the action that was in the movie was enough to build suspense. Puddle reflections, close ups, use of focused/unfocused shots and scope views. All tricks that hyped up the suspense of the movie.

Acting in The Hurt Locker was outstanding. It wasn't over the top, and the emotional parts were in good taste. It's pretty hard to act a reaction as was required of Brian Geraghty (Specialist Eldrige) but he did it well.

Oh, and Evangeleine Lilly was in it! For those who don't know, this is Kate from Lost. Can't go wrong there, but you see her for a wopping 2.8 seconds. That is the story of this movie though. Very small parts, very little character development at all. Most war movie greats (i.e. Saving Private Ryan or Band of Brothers [series]) are so successful because you are connected to an individual character or squad. I didn't get this with this movie. It was 130 minutes, but there was only a minuscule amount of character development. This type of movie thrives on the bond of fellow soldiers, or the negative effects of a war such as Iraq. But you only really have 3 scenes in the entire movie where you see either of these. They're there, and one scene was very powerful, but I can't go into it. Damn these reviews!

I was pretty excited when they introduced the unit in the beginning. I hadn't seen previews/synopsis of the movie beforehand. I was expecting the normal infantry unit doing door to door searches, guarding road blocks, etc. But The Hurt Locker came at it through a different angle of a bomb squad. I think this vantage point of the war is a great idea since they could accurately depict the war. Accuracy goes a long way in my book (I referred to my worst 25 list, now check the top 25 list). They didn't show 30 man fire fights with face to face combat. Instead they showed what it's more commonly like (small fire fights and tons and tons of IEDs).

One of the most powerful scenes in the movie was the supermarket. I could never imagine fighting in a war for the defense of a country (let's not debate here, this isn't the right medium, contact me on facebook if you want to throw down) that has several dozen pizza manufacturers and hundreds of cereals. All that effort into making a buck but no effort put into thanking our troops. Which by the way, anybody reading this should do it more often.

Hmm, while watching this I was thinking that I wouldn't have very much to say. Looking back over this I see this is my longest. Nice! It was for good cause, because I think I need to update my top 25. Had the storyline been stronger it would guarantee top 10. Either way, 5/5! Great movie, deserving of the awards it won (6 oscars, 73 other awards, and 49 other nominations)....... ok I'll leave that one in as proof. Google blog developer hates me.

Good Will Hunting

I liked this movie, which is surprising since it's more of a drama than I had expected. The acting was awesome (except for Ben Aflack) and made it easy to believe that these were actual people. Robin Williams is really good in this movie, and it reminds me of the Dead Poet's Society where I saw him and thought Mrs. Doubtfire, but was surprised to find a different person. One of my favorite parts about this movie was the rant that Will gave Shawn about getting a job at the NSA. Those types of rants are extremely fun to do since you start with one real event and spiral into a bunch of outlandish events.

I find myself hating Will, because I'm extremely jealous! I wish I had his talent where I could do all my difficult coursework as though it was as simple as writing a movie review...Another thing I hate is his poor me attitude! My goodness, he has it all.

One unfortunate thing about this movie was that his genius didn't really do anything. They didn't really develop the work he was doing with the professor.

Netflix failed me yesterday with the terrible quality of the Terminator: Salvation DVD. Today, netflix failed me again :(. The sound was probably a quarter second off from the video. Surprisingly it gave me a headache. Obviously, this is not going to reflect on the rating of the movie. Which I gave a 4/5.

Terminator: Salvation

First of all, before we begin, I'd like to apologize beforehand for this review. Hopefully the content will be fine, however I have a splitting headache. This is caused by none other than my bloody neighbors playing rap with a large amount of bass. My brain is not really function well for this headache is now a few hours old. Also, I'm watching Spartacus while writing this :).

So. Now that that is done. I'd like to begin this review with a shout out to netflix. Hey netflix, I'm sick of getting disks that are scratched and unreadable. Thanks for starting out my movie terribly by having my xbox say "Attempting to read media" 142 times. Apparently netflix hasn't heard of quality control before, because they leave it to the user to find their piece of shit disks for them. I have received many a scratched disk and it is quite the upsetting event, for I have to pay for something that I cannot use.

OK! NOW TO THE REVIEW! Although, trust me, I would love to continue describing how shitty of a mood I'm in.

The terminator series is a classic sci-fi movie series. Time travel, world conquering robots and prophecy. The series lost its focus in the 3rd movie (in my opinion), however this movie was very much on track with the original purpose of the movie series. It starts out with an excellent battle sequence and did not lack in the visual effects. Sci fi movies are popular because of their creativity and imagination. In Terminator: Salvation, the people in charge of developing new robots did their jobs well.

Unfortunately, this is where the good parts of this review end. I enjoy sci fi movies, and the concept is very cool and is one of those great classics (the original). However, just because the imagination is meant to run wild with these movies doesn't mean one should ignore the little things that make it believable. One could imagine a world where robots become self-aware and eventually develop into war machines that are driven to kill. However, when you make it so that your movie throws out the laws of physics COMPLETELY, you lose credibility. I won't go into details about the part that I speak of, for it may be a spoiler (it ended up being a huge part of the movie, le sigh). Also, there is some very cheesy acting and storyline additions to the movie that are annoying. Oh that was an unfortunate time to look up from typing, for there are naked men on TV. Showtime has a fascination with male genitalia in this series...another thing that bothers me about apocalypse type movies is the constant flames. Is there some rule that methane must spout from the ground and burst into plumes of fire?

  Anyways, the action in this movie is what was expected. Red hot lead straight out of the barrel of a gun  is in no manner rare in this movie. Explosions and fire too. Ohhh Gatling guns, how I love thee. The visual effects are beautifully done, air to air combat in this movie was thrilling. However, these things are all only part of the movie. Without a good plot, acting, following the laws of physics and other sciences....among many other things, a movie is bound to fail

For the reasons mentioned earlier, it receives 2/5 stars. Entertaining, for the most part, but it's not a good movie.

Next 5 DVDs: The Hurt Locker, Three Kings, Brothers at War, Breaking Point, 10 Dead Men

Instant Watch: Being John Malkovich, Good Will Hunting, Moon

War

This action movie has EVERYTHING one could possibly hope for. First of all, the main characters were obviously chosen for a reason: they are the best at what they do. Jason Statham and Jet Li. You cannot go wrong with either one when it comes to action movies, and combining them into one movie and putting them on opposite sides is BRILLIANT.

Secondly, it has all the things expected for various action movies. When you think Japanese you think samurai, right? War has them. Thinking about gang wars the first thing that pops into your mind is guns! They have that too! What else is pivotal to action movies? Car chases. THIS HAS IT TOO! Explosions, blood, destruction, snipers, ninjas, I could go on and on. They're all in there too.

Third, the plot is amazing and follows the classic formula for a successful movie of any genre. It has an awesome opening scene that sets the mood for the rest of the movie to come. It follows it up with a bitter rivalry as well as developing a subplot. The subplot in this movie is the plausible all out gang war between two real life West Coast gangs, the Triad and the Yakuza. Throw in some heartbreak, some plot twists (oh man the plot twists!!!) and you're bound to have a great movie on your hands.

Another little awesome thing was one of the up close and personal fight scenes. In the scene two characters (I have to try and be generic here as to not ruin the movie) use 1. a shovel and 2. a sledgehammer. Uhh awesome right?

In the last 2 movies I've seen, I've seen 5 doberman pinschers get killed. 3 in Rambo and 2 in this movie. How sad! Such awesome dogs, apparently they're awesome attack dogs too.

The only thing that I would change in the movie is the whole "titanium casing" part. There is no point in having a titanium casing for a bullet. It's like plating your toilet seat with gold, but less useful (gold feels great on the behind ya know).

Anyways...now that I've crossed over the line between serious review and a sad attempt at comedy, I'll just give you the rating, which at this point should be no surprise. 5/5

Next 5 movies: Terminator: Salvation, The Hurt Locker, Three Kings, Brothers at War, Breaking Point

Also possible (they're on instant watch): Moon, Good Will Hunting, Being John Malkovich 

Rambo: First Blood

The most recent Sylvester  Stalone movie I watched was the Expendables, which was a decent movie but terribly overkill on the gore. I expected something similar to that with Rambo (since it is about a crazy ass Vietnam vet and all). However, instead it didn't come to be that way.

I understand the problems that the Vietnam conflict created. Soldiers coming back were treated like the enemy and disrespected for doing what their country asked of them. So the basis for this movie is very plausible. However, I don't think many 'nam vets would go ape shit on a small town because one sheriff didn't like him and arrested him without cause. Although where would that leave us as far as movies go? Bored.

There was nothing truly spectacular about this movie, it was good, but not worth watching a second time. One thing that truly bothered me about this movie was the rats attacking Rambo. Really? I highly, highly doubt that ANY rat would straight up attack a live human, let alone one carrying a torch.

One thing I did like about the movie was Rambo's lack of dialog. He had very few lines in the entire movie, and until the ending he said no more than a few lines at a time. This fact coincided very well with what he was blabbering about in his little speech.

As I said, it wasn't great, it doesn't stand out among action movies. But, it does bring to the viewer's attention the fact that Vietnam was more than just a death trap, but a place where people lost more than friends/comrades. It's an unfortunate part of our country's history, and it's unfortunate that this movie wasn't better. 2/5 stars *le sigh*

Upcoming Movie Reviews: War, Terminator: Salvation, The Hurt Locker, Three Kings, Brothers at War

Man on Fire

Wow. Wow wow wow. This is a great movie!! It started with a ton of character development. But since this movie is 2 1/2 hours long it's very necessary. Without it one would never have the drive to see the rest of the movie.

Once the movie gets past the character development the movie takes off like a bat out of hell. The plot by itself is enough to impress with the twists and turns of Denzel's investigation. The acting in it is great too. Denzel's acting is never disappointing in my opinion, and this movie reinforces it. From the minute the real excitement of the movie began I could not look away. I started watching around 4 and didn't realize I was hungry and hadn't eaten dinner until it was over.

This movie was very well written both plot and dialog. There are some AMAZING quotes in this movie. Christopher Walken says "His art is death, and he is about to paint his masterpiece." My goodness...there are very few quotes that are THAT amazing.

There were also some very little subtleties that I enjoyed. One scene had Denzel in a car, and on the radio was "Hey Mickey," you know, that annoying ass song that probably caused an increase in the suicide rates of those named Mickey. Not only was it on the radio, but it was in Spanish! Made me chuckle...then Denzel continued his work which made me snap out of it :). Some of the things he did were uhhh creative to say the least. Another subtlety was the subtitles when Spanish was spoken. They made it so that they added to the feeling of the movie instead of just translating. Certain words were larger, others had shadow effects to them. Probably the coolest thing they did with the subtitles was how they moved off the screen. One was removed from the picture when a van passed behind it and the subtitles became attached to the back of the van. Another set disappeared when the guy spun in his chair. Cool huh?

There were very, very few things that I dislike about this movie, and none that were enough to lower the rating. Dakota Fanning is one. That piercing scream was enough to break my glasses. Another was the contradictions of Denzel's character. One who is a devout Christian who can finish biblical passages without hesitation would NEVER attempt to commit suicide. Also, I wish the subtitles had translated exactly what the person was saying. With my amazing intellect and intensive training in Spanish, I know that the words "puta" and "chinga tu madre" do not translate into anything close to what was written.

It ended how I had expected, but it was the best way to end such a movie. Look to see my top 25 updated soon, for this has surely made the list. 2 1/2 hours is a lot of time to devout to a movie, but it was well worth it. 5/5 stars is almost an insult to this movie.

Next 5 movies: Rambo: First Blood, War, Terminator: Salvation, The Hurt Locker, Three Kings

U-571

I have seen this movie before apparently. However, it is not as good as I remember. I found myself working on physics instead of really paying attention to the movie. Which is unfortunate, but I still got the gist of it all. Maybe it's Matthew McConaughey...hate that guy.

Normally I like war movies, but this one was not very exciting. I really don't have much to say about the movie, other than it did not capture my attention very well. Did I give it a fair shot? Probably not.

2/5 stars.

Prince of Persia

This movie just became available on instant watch, and it is most definitely on my list of movies I want to see. So far so good. Normally movies that are made from game titles (and vice versa) are terrible. Max Payne? Horrible! Lord of the Rings video games? Terrible! Prince of Persia (the movie)? We'll see.

First of all, Jake Gyllenhaal is a parkour king! err....prince? Some of the shit he does is unbelievable, but I think it ads a lot to the movie. Oops, did I put ads? Guess you should click on the google ads to the right here. Anyways, the part with the insanely intelligent and well organized sand vipers is pretty funny. Random snakes shooting out of the ground? Yea, that's totally illogical and even more so than a dagger that stops time by using sand.

And how many movies have you seen that has a guy wielding a whip in battle? One, two? Now how many have DUEL WIELDING WHIPS? ONE BABY! They gained a star for that alone in my rating.

This movie has everything necessary for a great movie. Deceit, rivalry, action, unbelievable things that make it more fun, there is also a lesson to be learned from the movie. Ahh indeed a good one.

It is deserving of a 5/5 stars in my books.

First Movie Review! Scarface.

A friend of mine always makes fun of me for never watching what he would call "the classics." I stepped out of my comfort zone for this movie since it was pre-1990. 

Yesterday was super bowl night, so obviously I didn't have anything to do up until 5:30. Scarface filled that time slot for me.

Unfortunately it was a time slot that was much, much too large. 3 hours for a movie that could have easily fit into the standard hour and a half length. It was much too long for my tastes. However, I enjoyed the movie nonetheless. It's no 5 star for me, but I got the Godfather-esque vibe, but with drugs! Everything is made better by drugs, right?

Plus there was quite a bit more violence, which is always good in my books. The classic "Say hello to my little friend" did not disappoint. Blowing down a door (with many people in the process) with an m203 then spraying and praying like a 12 year old Call of Duty player with an m60 would. I can hear him screaming "Oh come on! ARGGGG!" over his xbox-live microphone.

All in all, good movie. Could have been shorter, but other than that spot on. 4/5 stars.

Next 5 movies/TV series in the netflix queue: U-571, Rambo: First Blood, Man on Fire, War, Terminator: Salvation